Man I sound like a whiny little cunt. Accurate. But oh well.

Things lately have been shit.
I don't think I've ever been so burnt out or defeated in my life.

I wish I could make them better.
But after constantly fighting with Steven, I find myself at this momemt exhausted and I don't have anything left to give right now.
I am aware that I cause the fights, and that its me that makes things worse around here.

And now that I am at this point of realization, I find I have no energy to try to improve things.
Not today anyway.
Today, I want to stay in bed, and cry. All day.
If I could, trust me, I would.

Life stops for no one.
I am exhausted. Emotionally and spiritually burnt out.
I feel like I just can't feel better.

That I'll be stuck in this rut for the rest of my life.

I don't want that.

I want to openly and freely express love to those of whom I feel it.
I want to not feel hopeless every minute of every day.

But I fear I will spend the rest of my life in this pit of despair.
If it were as simple as change my outlook, then the problem would be solved.
But alas, its not.

Fuck.